Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
