Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
