He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
