Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
