I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
