He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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