Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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