ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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