This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
