Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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