I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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