3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Sex in the backyard? Check.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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