in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Floor bacon is actually really good
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
