One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
