I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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