i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
