Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
