singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
