I don't usually arrange sex via text message
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's no shave November. This is our time.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
