It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
