do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
