I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
4 words: hood of his car
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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