Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
