my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
