We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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