I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
