i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
