I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
