She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
