I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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