Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
