Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
