honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
