There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
