I just made out with a guy for $7.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
