Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
