mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
