on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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