Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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