Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
