I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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