i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Are my feet made of real feet?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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