wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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