I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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