if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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