I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
