dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
