Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
