A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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