you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Girls should come with a carfax report
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize