he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
