this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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