i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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