Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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