There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
