are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
