She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Randomize
